At first glance, you might think you’ve stumbled onto a hormonal Reddit thread that smells like body spray and desperation. But this is a serious question I have… for my friend. 

Hear me out! Intimacy Coordinator seems like it would be a weird and uncomfortable title. All they do is coordinate sex scenes right? How do you get that job? How do you become qualified for that job? Do you have to prepare a portfolio of your past work?

An intimacy coordinator’s role is to be wholly focused on the safety and comfort of actors during the filming of intimate scenes. They collaborate with other members of the crew to choreograph scenes in a way that is safe and comfortable for the actors to perform. 

Here are some other things an intimacy coordinator does:

• Advocate for actors

• Facilitate communication

• Maintain confidentiality

The job is IMPORTANT. An intimacy coordinator’s role is to be the empathetic third party. They use the positional privilege that other people in the system vest in them to help the least powerful players be at their best. Oh snap! I went there.

Lessons from Westeros

Following the series wrap of Game of Thrones (GOT) in 2018, HBO announced all projects would have intimacy coordinators attached moving forward. 

Intimacy coordinators make such a difference that the next year SAG-AFTRA announced it would be implementing standardized guidelines for on-set intimacy coordinators on union projects. That is the power of unions for anyone who happens to be seated in the back.

Seriously Though

I assume the people who become intimacy coordinators are just extremely compassionate and feel motivated to support vulnerable members of their communities. Yes, even major stars can be vulnerable, especially with their clothes off. It’s why we’ve all heard the public speaking advice to picture the audience naked. (That’s not great advice btw, but we’ll get to that another day.) 

The point is that intimacy coordinators make it possible to create art that makes us feel without jeopardizing the safety of anyone involved and in a way that makes our favorite artists want to make more, impactful art.

So, maybe this is a cool job. I knew you’d come around!

They Walk Among Us

The impact of intimacy coordinators in Hollywood shouldn’t be surprising. We already use them in other areas of our lives regularly. You might know or have worked with a: 

• Doctor

• Lawyer

• Therapist

• Teacher

• Mediator

Sure, at the most basic level, these professionals are NOT helping folks shake the sheets. But if we look at what an intimacy coordinator really does, these roles are not that different. Again, an intimacy coordinator is an empathetic third party who uses their position to help other parties in a vulnerable position to be at their best.

The biggest surprise is how long it took for Hollywood to acknowledge intimacy coordinators as a necessity. On second thought, maybe not because the institution was already serving the people it was intended to. I’d bet the comfort of actors, especially women, on set was not a regular discussion point in studio budget meetings before #MeToo. A system that achieves its intended result is not broken.

Alright, what have we learned? Intimacy coordinators help people through vulnerable moments to bring out the best in themselves and their teams. And, you can perform this role in a variety of settings… where everyone is clothed if that’s your jam. What’s not to love about that? 

I’ll ask again. Where do I sign up? Or maybe you’re the friend that needed this info. Can you think of other places in our society that should have intimacy coordinators?